Wednesday's Child

Everyone was excited to welcome him into the world, especially one of his big cousins (that would be me), but we never got a chance. Prior to his birth, he became entangled in his umbilical cord.

The following year, his great grandmother, my grandmother, would be interred beside him. Growing up and even now, I've always imagined that my grandmother was taking care of him in the after life.

“The Help” in my Own Family – The Stories of My Mother and My Aunts

I recently read The Help by Kathryn Stockett as it was this month’s selection for the book club that I am a member of. I hope to also be able to see the movie before it leaves the area.

Especially in the African American community, the emotions with regard to both the movie and the book have run the gamut of emotions, from anger to a sense of pride.

For me personally, I definitely fall in the pride camp. Like so many others, when reading the book, my thoughts turned to “The Help” within my own family. I think it’s the genealogist in me.

Growing up, I heard many similar stories as those depicted in The Help, and I don’t have to travel very far along the ancestral path to encounter them, because at various points in their work lives, my mother and her sisters were The Help. Surprisingly, to the best of my knowledge, my grandmother was never “The Help.”

The following are remembrances from Aunt Marie’s and my Mother’s days as “The Help.”

Mom

The bulk of Mom’s time as “The Help” was during the summer months while she was home from college, which would be the mid 1940s and at times in her early work life, she would fill in for one of her sisters.

My mother had good and bad experiences from that era in her life as well as those that fall some where in between.

When one of the central characters, Aibileen, of The Help is accused of theft, I was reminded that my mother went through a similar situation. In one family that my mother worked for, the wife, Mrs. Cook, was an alcoholic. You can see where this is leading already, can’t you? Mrs. Cook would get so drunk that she would forget where she put her money. One day when she was in a drunken stupor, she, of course, accused my mother of taking her money and threatened to call the police. My mother, while somewhat shy and reserved, could and can also be a bit feisty and told her employer to go ahead and call the police because they wouldn’t find anything on her.

While Mrs. Cook didn’t call the police, she did call her husband, who came home, surveyed the situation, asked mom a few questions, and returned to work. Apparently, he didn’t believe his wife’s claim. Eventually, Mrs. Cook found her money but by then my mother had had enough and told her that she didn’t need the job and wouldn’t be back. And for as spirited and standing up for herself as my mother was, underneath she was trembling and terrified and she arrived back home in tears where my grandmother asked her “What’s wrong with you?” Through tear filled eyes, my mother told my grandmother what had happened.

The irony of all this is that Mrs. Cook called my mother, apologizing profusely, and begging mom to come back. Mom’s response was “No. I’m not coming back.”

On the opposite end of the spectrum was Mrs. Bruce. With Mrs. Bruce, mom and her sisters were baby sitters as mom likes to put it and from the way mom reflects on Mrs. Bruce, that term is probably the most accurate description of the work they did for her. Mrs. Bruce always wanted one of the Hosch girls and if she couldn’t get one of them, then she would just stay home that day and look after the children herself. The Bruces also paid the best.

Aunt Marie

Of all my aunts, four altogether, I think it’s the story of Aunt Marie the oldest of my aunts that can cause anger to well up inside me. Not so much for the system under which she toiled but for the mind set it created in her.

During her work life, Aunt Marie worked for some of the famous people from my hometown, the O. Max Gardner family from whence one of the governors of North Carolina came. As the socialites of my hometown, the Gardners did a lot of entertaining, which means they served alcoholic beverages. Being deeply religious, Aunt Marie didn’t feel comfortable serving the alcoholic concoctions and would always ask her coworker if she would take care of this duty.

Aunt Marie toiled as “The Help” all of her working days, which extended well into the 1970s, even after other opportunities opened up. Her younger sisters were always trying to get her to no longer be “The Help” but I don’t think Aunt Marie was ever able to envision herself as anything else. That being said, at the end of her days as “The Help” and when it was well past time for her to retire, she finally said no more. You see at the end of her work life, Aunt Marie no longer had her own transportation as her car had been totaled in a wreck. By this point in time, her last employer was only using her one day a week anyway. So her employer calls and wanted her to come out but wasn’t willing to provide transportation, so Aunt Marie would have had to pay someone to get there. Whatever the pay was at this point, it wasn’t worth all the trouble, so Aunt Marie told her she wasn’t coming out. Truth is Aunt Marie was just probably tired and worn out.

After reading “The Help” and once again reflecting on the era and times of those who came before, I can say I’m thankful that my mother didn’t meet a worse fate from the accusations leveled against her. I’m thankful that while Aunt Marie never envisioned herself as being anything other than “The Help” that she was still able to hang on to bits and pieces of herself by refusing to serve alcohol. I’m thankful that my mother and all my aunts, even Aunt Marie, knew that this wouldn’t always be the way, if not for themselves, then most certainly their children or grandchildren would know a different life.

52 Weeks of Personal Genealogy, Week 33 - Nicknames

Week 33: Nicknames. What was your childhood nickname, and what was the meaning behind it? You can also discuss the nicknames of other family members, both past and present.

This challenge runs from Saturday, August 13, 2011 through Friday, August 19, 2011.

My mother was a stickler that no child of her's would have a nickname. Momma hated and still hates nicknames. In spite of her best efforts to keep the nickname demons away, I still managed to acquire a couple of nicknames. Both were given to me by my maternal aunts.

The first of the nicknames  was Maybelline, given to me by my Aunt Frances. I acquired the nickname due to my long eyelashes. Aunt Frances used to always tell me that I would never need to wear mascara.

The second nickname, Chitty, was given to me by Aunt Lucille. Chitty come from the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. After having seen the movie when it came to my hometown, my mother made me a dress based on the character Jenmima.. From then on,  when when ever Aunt Lucille saw me, she began calling me Chitty

Happy Mother's Day

Madness Monday - Regrouping

For those that read both of my blogs or keep up via Twitter or Facebook, you know what kind of year this has been already with the passing of my father last month. As a result, I actually thought of taking a break from my research and my blogging. However, even though right now I'm doing both the research and the blogging sporadically, I've come to realize that returning to the research and the blogging helps me cope.

On my maternal side, which is the focus of  Georgia Black Crackers, I've not done much this year in the way of research or blogging. With everything that was going on with dad, it seems my focus for this year was and still is the paternal / North Carolina ancestors.

The other thing that has slowed the research on the maternal / Georgia ancestors is I feel like I have run out of ideas to at least begin chipping away at that monstrous 1870 brick wall. But I've got to return to the hunt because that wall isn't going to come down on its own. So the push to find the last slave owner of my 2nd great grandparents, Jasper and Jane Pierce, begins, again.

The first thing I plan to do is revisit the 1870 and 1880 census, which I will discuss, hopefully, in my next post.

Until next time!

Talented Tuesday

I've decided that instead of featuring just the ancestors in my blog that I would try to incorporate some of the current generations in my blog also. After all, one day their descendants might one day wonder about their ancestors. So, my goal is to feature some of my talented younger cousins as part of Talented Tuesday.

This is just the beginning and right now I don't have much material, so I'm depending on family members who  would like to be featured to provide me with material for this weekly meme.

The first of my younger cousins that I would like to feature is a descendant of my Grand Uncle, Willie Hosch. Graham Hosch, the younger (his granddad is also Graham and is my mom's first cousin) is my second cousin once removed. I've never actually met Graham. In fact, while I have met his grandfather Graham, I don't ever remember meeting Graham the younger's mom, my second cousin, even though we grew up probably less than 100 miles from each other.

Well thanks to Facebook, I've had the opportunity to connect with a lot of my Grand Uncle's descendants, which is how I learned about my talented cousin Graham. Last month, I had the opportunity to see some of Graham's artwork which was on display as part of the "With These Hands" Black History exhibit at the Rowan Museum in Salisbury, NC.

The pictures included in today's post were taken by the owner of this blog on 13 March 2011.

One Lovely Blog Award

I am honored to have received the One Lovely Blog Award from Karen of Genealogy Frame of Mind and Cyndi (aka Texicanwife) of Mountain Genealogists. Thank you so much.

The recipient of the One Lovely Blog Award is to

1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who granted the award and their blog link.
2. Pass the award on to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered.
3. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

I've not kept up with my blog reading during the past few months so this may be a little tough but I'll give it my best effort.

My choices for the One Lovely Blog Award are

1. Black and Red Journal
2. Free Blacks in Antebellum North Carolina
3. MS Roots
4. Are You My Cousin?
5. Climbing My Family Tree
6. Clue Wagon
7. Find My Ancestor Blog
8. Threading Needles in a Haystack: The Genealogy Journey
9. The Journey Takers Blog
10. Southwest Arkie ...Genealogy Junkie
11. All Roads Lead to California
12. My Cleages and Reeds
13. Genealogy Adventures
14. African Roots
15. Begin With Craft

52 Weeks of Personal Genealogy, Week 11 - Illness and Injury

Week 11: Illness and Injury. Describe your childhood illnesses or injuries. Who took care of you? Did you recuperate in your own bed, on the couch in front of the television, or somewhere else?

This challenge runs from Saturday, March 12, 2011 through Friday, March 18, 2011.

I was rarely ever sick as a child. I never had any of the usual childhood diseases for my era. You read that right, no chickenpox, no measles, and no mumps. Even when mom thought I had finally contracted chickenpox or measles in junior high, it turned out not to be the case. To this day, I've not experienced the delight of those childhood diseases, and I definitely don't want to experience them at this point in my life.

While I rarely ever got sick, whenever I did it tended to be weird stuff. First there was the aforementioned time that mom thought I had the measles or chickenpox. That episode was one of the few times I got to stay home from school due to illness. You see as only the second generation that really had a chance for education and with both of my parents being teachers, I didn't get to stay home for any and every little thing and I have the perfect attendance awards to prove it.

Back to the suspected measles or chickenpox. After two days of being home and feeling like my head was going to explode with every move I made, mom finally hauled me off to the doctor. The verdict was we don't know what it is but it's definitely not the measles or chickenpox. In college, I would have a similar episode minus the pounding headache and again, it wasn't measles, chicken pox, or the shingles, which my best friend and roommate thought it was. Years later I learned since I had never had chicken pox, there was no way it could have been shingles.

What other strange things have happened? Constipation. Yes, that's another you read that right. Constipation in an of itself isn't terribly bad except in my case, I had two episodes in my young life (elementary school) that if the folks hadn't called the doctor, I probably wouldn't be here now to tell you about them. The first episode was the worst. None of the usual remedies (enemas, laxatives, prune juice, Castor Oil) worked. The main thing I remember is being in my bed for days, not wanting to eat, and whenever I did it would just come right back up. After about two days of this, my parents were worried and for some reason I remember dad being more worried than mom. My doctor basically lived at the end of our street and came almost as soon as mom called. Without being graphic, let's just say that the blockage was removed with my doctor's assistance. He told my folks that it was a good thing they called when they did and that none of the usual things would have ever worked. After my second near fatal episode, I was sent to the hospital for x-rays to see if there was anything wrong. My doctor told the folks there was nothing wrong and that I was just being lazy. How dare he? Anyway just in case (I think my doctor was already tired of removing the blockages), I was put on a prescription for the problem for the remainder of elementary school years after which I never endured another episode of near fatal constipation. As added precaution, mom also made sure I had a tablespoon of Castor Oil each morning as well as a glass of prune juice each day.

Outside of my usual bouts with colds and the accompanying bronchitis, which I still have to deal with, there were no other serious illnesses that I remember from my childhood.

As far as injuries, I had the usual dings and scrapes that come with being a child but nothing like broken bones. I think the worst was when I jammed my thumb when daddy was trying to teach me how to roller skate.

So there you have it, an almost idealistic childhood from an illness and injury standpoint.

******

52 Weeks of Personal Genealogy is hosted by Geneabloggers and was created by Amy Coffin of The We Tree Genealogy Blog.

I've Been Recognized

To all my loyal readers and to all those who voted for Georgia Black Crackers,

Thank you, thank you, thank you

Georgia Black Crackers has been recognized as one of Family Tree Magazine 2011 40 Best Genealogy Blogs.

I now know how Grammy award winners feel, because I have a range of emotions. I'm thrilled, ecstatic, honored, speechless, and humbled by the recognition. I wonder if the other 39 blogs that were recognized feel the same gamut of emotions?

Once again, thank you for the recognition and be sure to check out the other blogs that were recognized.