I recently read The
Help by Kathryn Stockett as it was this month’s selection for the book club
that I am a member of. I hope to also be able to see the movie before it leaves
the area.
Especially in the African American community, the emotions
with regard to both the movie and the book have run the gamut of emotions, from
anger to a sense of pride.
For me personally, I definitely fall in the pride camp. Like
so many others, when reading the book, my thoughts turned to “The Help” within
my own family. I think it’s the genealogist in me.
Growing up, I heard many similar stories as those depicted
in The Help, and I don’t have to travel
very far along the ancestral path to encounter them, because at various points
in their work lives, my mother and her sisters were The Help. Surprisingly, to the best of my knowledge, my grandmother
was never “The Help.”
The following are remembrances from Aunt Marie’s and my
Mother’s days as “The Help.”
Mom
The bulk of Mom’s time as “The Help” was during the summer
months while she was home from college, which would be the mid 1940s and at
times in her early work life, she would fill in for one of her sisters.
My mother had good and bad experiences from that era in her
life as well as those that fall some where in between.
When one of the central characters, Aibileen, of The Help is accused of theft, I was
reminded that my mother went through a similar situation. In one family that my
mother worked for, the wife, Mrs. Cook, was an alcoholic. You can see where
this is leading already, can’t you? Mrs. Cook would get so drunk that she would
forget where she put her money. One day when she was in a drunken stupor, she,
of course, accused my mother of taking her money and threatened to call the
police. My mother, while somewhat shy and reserved, could and can also be a bit
feisty and told her employer to go ahead and call the police because they
wouldn’t find anything on her.
While Mrs. Cook didn’t call the police, she did call her
husband, who came home, surveyed the situation, asked mom a few questions, and
returned to work. Apparently, he didn’t believe his wife’s claim.
Eventually, Mrs. Cook found her money but by then my mother had had enough and
told her that she didn’t need the job and wouldn’t be back. And for as spirited
and standing up for herself as my mother was, underneath she was trembling and
terrified and she arrived back home in tears where my grandmother asked her
“What’s wrong with you?” Through tear filled eyes, my mother told my grandmother what had happened.
The irony of all this is that Mrs. Cook called my
mother, apologizing profusely, and begging mom to come back. Mom’s response was “No. I’m not
coming back.”
On the opposite end of the spectrum was Mrs. Bruce. With Mrs.
Bruce, mom and her sisters were baby sitters as mom likes to put it and from
the way mom reflects on Mrs. Bruce, that term is probably the most accurate
description of the work they did for her. Mrs. Bruce always wanted one of the
Hosch girls and if she couldn’t get one of them, then she would just stay home
that day and look after the children herself. The Bruces also paid the best.
Aunt Marie
Of all my aunts, four altogether, I think it’s the story of
Aunt Marie the oldest of my aunts that can cause anger to well up inside me.
Not so much for the system under which she toiled but for the mind set it
created in her.
During her work life, Aunt Marie worked for some of the
famous people from my hometown, the O. Max Gardner family from whence one of the
governors of North Carolina came.
As the socialites of my hometown, the Gardners
did a lot of entertaining, which means they served alcoholic beverages. Being
deeply religious, Aunt Marie didn’t feel comfortable serving the alcoholic
concoctions and would always ask her coworker if she would take care of this
duty.
Aunt Marie toiled as “The Help” all of her working days, which extended well into the 1970s, even after other
opportunities opened up. Her younger sisters were always trying to get her to
no longer be “The Help” but I don’t think Aunt Marie was ever able to envision
herself as anything else. That being said, at the end of her days as “The Help”
and when it was well past time for her to retire, she finally said no more. You
see at the end of her work life, Aunt Marie no longer had her own
transportation as her car had been totaled in a wreck. By this point in time,
her last employer was only using her one day a week anyway. So her employer
calls and wanted her to come out but wasn’t willing to provide transportation,
so Aunt Marie would have had to pay someone to get there. Whatever the pay was
at this point, it wasn’t worth all the trouble, so Aunt Marie told her she
wasn’t coming out. Truth is Aunt Marie was just probably tired and worn out.
After reading “The Help” and once again reflecting on the
era and times of those who came before, I can say I’m thankful that my mother
didn’t meet a worse fate from the accusations leveled against her. I’m thankful
that while Aunt Marie never envisioned herself as being anything other than
“The Help” that she was still able to hang on to bits and pieces of herself by
refusing to serve alcohol. I’m thankful that my mother and all my aunts, even
Aunt Marie, knew that this wouldn’t always be the way, if not for themselves, then
most certainly their children or grandchildren would know a different life.
